I have always been one of those people who likes to pick at a scab, even though I KNOW that I'm doing more harm than good, and that if I just left the sore spot alone it would heal a lot better.
Yesterday I had a HUGE opportunity to pick at a big emotional scab. I was invited by my neices to attend the school's Special Persons' Day - like grandparents' day, but with a wider audience. With so many hurts emanating from some of the people within that school, I was nervous about the prospect of spending a day in their presence. But God is Good. Once we were inside, greeted by a few of my old students, and several of last year's co-workers, I felt that I had a right to be there. That although the School Board did not approve of the events that have transpired in my life over the last year and a half, and although we have come to an agreement to terminate my employment there, my neices go to school there, and it was they who invited me. I was not there on business, and so it felt ok. (It certainly helped, knowing I had Andrew and my Mother-In-Law there to back me up should any problems have arisen.)
It was fantastic to reunite with some of my old colleagues -- to sit and chat with them, without feeling a need to pretend to be ashamed of my son and the events surrounding his arrival. It was good to see old students, growing and maturing; and a few of their parents, too.
Even though the date loomed on the calendar for several weeks in advance, and every step toward the entrance took determination, I am so glad I went. Praise the Lord for small miracles.